Struggling with two..I thought it would be easy.
It has definitely been a very overwhelming time these past 8 weeks, learning life with two children. I was very lucky to have a very positive time the first time round and admittedly thought it would be exactly the same the second time.
I 100% thought if it was going to be hard it would be when Jacob was born (the eldest). I went from going out into town every weekend and being able to leave the house whenever I wanted not having any responsibility of thinking is the house is dog proof?, did I take the rubbish out so the dog cant get t it? did I pack everything for the kids? have I brushed my hair? - oh wait I've not brushed my teeth!! But even though we had a bit of a slow start with Jacob being in hospital in the neo-natal unit for 3 weeks so being what I thought a 'proper' mum, being able to care and do everything for my son didn't start until he was 3 weeks old.
I didn't have any major struggles with settling in when he did come home. He was such a chilled baby and barely even cried - I know.. what a dream that must have been! He was eating perfectly, he was sleeping perfectly until he got a bit older and decided he wanted to be rocked to sleep! We went through all the 'standard' struggles with the sleepless nights and the whingey phases and we are now going through the threenager 'he is right always' stage. But all of this was just what we expected and took everything with a pinch of salt...until now.
When Thomas was born I would probably say the first two weeks were my favourite, I mean don't get me wrong I love it now he is getting a bit older and his personality is growing but I was in the whole newborn bubble. Jacob was off nursery and Scott was off work so the three of us had the best time getting to know our new addition. After Scott returned to work and Jacob went back to nursery, it began to sink in the new responsibilities and all the added pressure that comes with it. I have begun to struggle and put pressure on myself to be this 'perfect happy fun mum' who has it all together and have my routine down to a tee. In actual fact most days getting dressed is a struggle hair is constantly in a 'mum bun' and questioning when I last washed it. I am permanently attached to the sofa unless I'm on the school run and the piles of washing is so high you could loose yourself in it. My mood is forever in question will I wake up happy? Will I stay happy? Will my migraine go today? This time round my brain is completely frazzled, putting washing in the machine.... 3 days ago and now having to rewash everything twice maybe even a third time. I can never remember anything and if it wasn't for my diary on my phone I wouldn't have a clue what event or meetings with friends I have coming up, let alone what day it is.
I know everyone says its harder with two kids, your allowed to just sit at home doing nothing all day but I don't want to. I want to be that mum that genuinely has it all together who doesn't have to get up extremely early when her partner is still home just so she can actually get dressed nicely and brush her teeth. Most people think I have it all together but that resting bitch face comes in very handy when I want to hide what's actually going on inside. I want to be that perfect mum who takes her kids to all the groups and on cool fun days out and does cool crafts/baking when we are at home - instead of praying they have a nap or both occupied that I can maybe get in a cat nap before the next 'mum can I have?..'
Parenthood definitely should come with some kind of manual and a transition into multiple kids book.... I would buy them all! No matter that everybody say it will be okay when I'm having a not so good day it seems that I cannot remember ever having a good day, that everything I do is wrong.
The only thing that makes every bad day all the questions and headaches is seeing both my boys happy. Seeing their smiles and being called mum just means the absolute world, the fact that no matter how hard things can get we are a family and families stick together and are there for one another cheering each other up in our own little ways. Seeing the boys get soo excited when their dad comes home is one of my favourite moments, to see excitement in the kids just gives me such a warm feeling and definitely makes a bad day seem better. To know that we are doing okay as parents and no matter if you have amazing days being the 'perfect' mum/dad or days where you don't leave the sofa, you will always be the best parents your kids will ever have. You are the ones they call for when they have a bad dream, fall over, want to share how their day has been and just to have a cuddle with - on their terms obviously, I have to bribe J if I want one now he's a 'big boy.'
Being the perfect parent is all about loving, providing and caring for our children. What we see in others is only what they want us to see, it doesn't mean they have it all together it just means they can put on a show. Just remember you are amazing at being a parent and your kids wouldn't want you any other way!
I 100% thought if it was going to be hard it would be when Jacob was born (the eldest). I went from going out into town every weekend and being able to leave the house whenever I wanted not having any responsibility of thinking is the house is dog proof?, did I take the rubbish out so the dog cant get t it? did I pack everything for the kids? have I brushed my hair? - oh wait I've not brushed my teeth!! But even though we had a bit of a slow start with Jacob being in hospital in the neo-natal unit for 3 weeks so being what I thought a 'proper' mum, being able to care and do everything for my son didn't start until he was 3 weeks old.I didn't have any major struggles with settling in when he did come home. He was such a chilled baby and barely even cried - I know.. what a dream that must have been! He was eating perfectly, he was sleeping perfectly until he got a bit older and decided he wanted to be rocked to sleep! We went through all the 'standard' struggles with the sleepless nights and the whingey phases and we are now going through the threenager 'he is right always' stage. But all of this was just what we expected and took everything with a pinch of salt...until now.
When Thomas was born I would probably say the first two weeks were my favourite, I mean don't get me wrong I love it now he is getting a bit older and his personality is growing but I was in the whole newborn bubble. Jacob was off nursery and Scott was off work so the three of us had the best time getting to know our new addition. After Scott returned to work and Jacob went back to nursery, it began to sink in the new responsibilities and all the added pressure that comes with it. I have begun to struggle and put pressure on myself to be this 'perfect happy fun mum' who has it all together and have my routine down to a tee. In actual fact most days getting dressed is a struggle hair is constantly in a 'mum bun' and questioning when I last washed it. I am permanently attached to the sofa unless I'm on the school run and the piles of washing is so high you could loose yourself in it. My mood is forever in question will I wake up happy? Will I stay happy? Will my migraine go today? This time round my brain is completely frazzled, putting washing in the machine.... 3 days ago and now having to rewash everything twice maybe even a third time. I can never remember anything and if it wasn't for my diary on my phone I wouldn't have a clue what event or meetings with friends I have coming up, let alone what day it is.
I know everyone says its harder with two kids, your allowed to just sit at home doing nothing all day but I don't want to. I want to be that mum that genuinely has it all together who doesn't have to get up extremely early when her partner is still home just so she can actually get dressed nicely and brush her teeth. Most people think I have it all together but that resting bitch face comes in very handy when I want to hide what's actually going on inside. I want to be that perfect mum who takes her kids to all the groups and on cool fun days out and does cool crafts/baking when we are at home - instead of praying they have a nap or both occupied that I can maybe get in a cat nap before the next 'mum can I have?..'
Parenthood definitely should come with some kind of manual and a transition into multiple kids book.... I would buy them all! No matter that everybody say it will be okay when I'm having a not so good day it seems that I cannot remember ever having a good day, that everything I do is wrong.
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