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Why is returning to work after mat leave so hard?

So since i havent been able to properly think about work due to PND and the thought making me feel physically sick. It has come around pretty quickly, 2 months to go in fact!  After working things out, we have come to the conclusion that if i am offered the hours i need (to work around school) and the days of childcare i have available to me i will be earning next to nothing just to be apart from my baby. But sadly we cannot afford for me not to be earning. With my partner already doing all hours under the sun & hardly ever seeing the boys during the week and sometime even on weekends. We still arent making the cut of being able to live solely off his wage alone.
I have been trying to get in contact with the citizens advice to find out if i am entitled to any benefits. I hate the thought of going on them as we have been messed around with help in the past and ended up in owing them a lot of money due to their own error. But until i have established and earning enough as self employe…

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