4 Months with two kids update!

It feels like forever ago that I was writing my 3 month update, this month has gone so slow. I am very glad that it hasn't been a very busy month on the event front but of course we still have been very busy non the less.

Emotionally the month started off being a better month. I was feeling much more positive, I felt that I had a little bit more control on what the daily tasks were and started to get myself into some kind of routine with the boys.

Scott has started a job where he works fairly long hours so it has been hard with Jacob constantly asking when daddy is coming home and missing him. We have tried to make sure that when he is home we spend some quality time and do some fun things together to create those memories that will last forever. On the whole the month started off feeling a little bit more like myself again but as the weeks have gone on and we have been progressing Thomas into his own room and a few meals out I feel that I'm slightly loosing myself again.

Thomas was far too big for his moses basket and just wanted to spread out so instead of buying a co-sleeper/crib we thought we should just transfer him to his own room as we feel he was ready, wanting his own space for nap times etc...This made me feel completely sick, I didn't want him to be in his own room to be honest how I am feeling now I think I would want him in my room for a very long time but lets face it that isn't good for anyone. We bought a video baby monitor which definitely puts me at ease so I can just see him anytime without waking him up. He absolutely loves his new sleeping arrangement and definitely prefers it 100% more now. He doesn't settle as well as he did before when its in the same room and he absolutely loves having the room to spread out and catch up on some much needed sleep. It has been a huge step mentally for me to put him in his own room but sleep wise it has done us all the world of good. He is now sleeping around 7 hours now which means we can catch up on the past few months of no sleep.

We have had a couple of meals out one was a 'date night' It was lovely it wasn't far from our house and we were only gone for a couple of hours and I did miss the boys soo much but it was okay. The next was quite recent and it was for a friends birthday, it was nice but it was a little bit longer than I have done and I started to panic inside and I really missed the boys and I ended up regretting going out, we ended up leaving half way through the meal as I think if we had stayed any longer I would have been in tears and probably ended up running out and never going out again. When I got home and now I think about it I am glad we went, it was a nice time with friends but I think my limit at the minute it 2 hours and that usually if the boys are both in bed and at our house. It's a horrible feeling as it isn't me and I wasn't like this at all after my first baby so it trying to adapt and accept that it is ok to have bad days. I think with all the new things that have gone on this past month it has emotionally tested me so the past week or so I have felt that I am not in control all I want to do is be at home with the boys and to be honest I don't want to do anything. I think I'm done for a little while of testing myself so I can rebuild and sort my head out a bit more.

House wise, I still haven't managed to maintain a tidy house or completely tackle the washing till the end. Before I finish all the washing it seems that there is a huge pile elsewhere in the house building up, who even manages to keep on top with two kids and mad animals? I have started to try and do a bit of cleaning each and every day which has helped a lot more and keeps it from being a huge task to do in one day, but I find that each room just sort of looks tidy but not quite. Our main problem is that we need some more storage to find places for the bits and bobs with no home - I think a trip to Ikea is a must. I have been sorting out the storage we do have an moving rooms around and sorting out all those little bits that you keep but don't actually need. It's a big task but once we have a few more storage cabinets and places it will all come together and hopefully end up having more hiding places for all those bits that get shoved in my bedroom when we have guests...any one else do this?

Both the boys have had a very busy month,

Jacob is learning more at his pre school which is resulting in him being very tired and many more meltdowns as a result. His imagination is amazing and is one of the things that makes him so loveable. It really is amazing that kids can be sat in an empty room but still have the best time with what they can think up in there heads. We are constantly running and fighting those monsters and running of 'Evil Baddie Daddy' (what he says when Scott is at work) and we are either Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles or Super Hero's, whatever the day has planned for us. He is absolutely amazing with his little brother and I can get him to do most tasks in the evening such as the bath and going to bed as long as his brother can do it all with him! They are going to be the cutest growing up together...until all the fall outs. I will enjoy them getting along for now!

Thomas is starting to try and sit up more and more on his own, he hates being laid down when he is awake he wants to see what is going on at all times. He finds his big brother hilarious and has recently discovered those amazing things that are his hands and feet, they are getting constantly tugged and chewed as he explores what they can actually do. We have tried him on some Rusks as he is soo interested when people are eating and gives you that awkward stare and feeling of guilt that he cant have any ha! He wasn't sure at first but once he got the hang of how to eat it he has been loving it and gets very excited that he can join in on the food thing too.

My aim for the month ahead is to try and figure my head out a bit and get the house a bit more together to finish the rooms that have been started but not yet completed. Also to just enjoy the boys and not test myself too much just go at my own pace when I feel I am ready to.

Any tips for storage or keeping on top of the chores with a crazy household? How do you keep your mind free from running away with itself?