Is Discipline that bad?
There is a huge stigma around what is the correct way to discipline your child without others judging you as a parent.
I was brought up with the occasional smack on the back of our legs, which now you are told that you are the worst parent if you smack your child especially in public. I know that there are some extreme cases and Children Services can investigate which is definitely rightly so but that doesn't mean to say everyone should be put in the same category. We also got The Stare (you know you were in trouble if you got THAT look) and just in general being told what is right and wrong in everything that we did. None of this done me or my siblings any harm and we have turned out fine..I think!
There is definitely some aspects of my upbringing that I will not use with my own children - what age I was allowed to stay out and go to parties etc.. but overall I find that we all bring our kids up how we were brought up. Judgements doesn't always come from those who do not know us but sometimes from family or friends. Everybody judges its only nature to have an opinion on something but its choosing your moments to voice that opinion or the way we want to say it. I personally find it harder when it comes from strangers as I think that unless I am being harmful or causing danger in anyway to my child that it is no one's business and I wouldn't dare comment on someone else's situation as I wouldn't know the full extent of it.
I have found from being out with my own children by myself that others around take such notice and judgment into how you discipline them when they are being particularly difficult. I have even had a few comments or tuts when I am telling my child off or ignoring him while he screams the bus down because I wont let him run around on it.They do not know me or my children to know what kind of time we are having, some days my son really does wind me up so yes if I tell him he cant have something that he keeps going on about in the shop I will not give in and let him have that which I think is an all round fair agreement. Personally I think that your child has to show good behaviour to seek the rewards rather than just giving them what they want when they want. Don't get me wrong there have definitely been some challenging days where I am nearly at breaking point so I will do anything to ease the pressure even if that is letting him watch movies all day or ignoring that thing he has broken. Overall for me, my partner and our children we find that our stricter approach and routine that we have with the kids, mainly Jacob as Thomas is a baby, including bedtimes, using manners at all times, works best for us as it's how we were both brought up to which we want to continue and follow.
It's all about finding a balance and teaching your child how to interact with others how they would want to be treated and being kind to others even if they aren't always being the same back. It's so easy to judge others if you think you would react differently but as you aren't in that situation you are taking a more calm outlook. But lets face it kids know how to pick their moments and they know when is best to push your buttons so always best to think about a situation from both sides.
People are quick to tell you when they think you are wrong but its rare that someone other than friends/family will tell you that you are doing amazingly which is more often than not. There needs to be more positivity spread as one small comment could be just what someone needed to hear or could be the tip of the iceberg if it's a stressful day.
The best advice I could give on disciplining your child is to not let others make you feel you are in the wrong or you are being too strict or not enough. You will get to know what works best for you and your child and each child won't necessarily be the same. After all we all have different opinions on what is good behaviour so no ones upbringing is right or wrong.
I am in no way saying how I bring my kids up is the right way ,it's just what works best for us. Just sharing how I deal with life as a parent and wanting to share some positivity on our individual choices we make being parents.
I was brought up with the occasional smack on the back of our legs, which now you are told that you are the worst parent if you smack your child especially in public. I know that there are some extreme cases and Children Services can investigate which is definitely rightly so but that doesn't mean to say everyone should be put in the same category. We also got The Stare (you know you were in trouble if you got THAT look) and just in general being told what is right and wrong in everything that we did. None of this done me or my siblings any harm and we have turned out fine..I think!
There is definitely some aspects of my upbringing that I will not use with my own children - what age I was allowed to stay out and go to parties etc.. but overall I find that we all bring our kids up how we were brought up. Judgements doesn't always come from those who do not know us but sometimes from family or friends. Everybody judges its only nature to have an opinion on something but its choosing your moments to voice that opinion or the way we want to say it. I personally find it harder when it comes from strangers as I think that unless I am being harmful or causing danger in anyway to my child that it is no one's business and I wouldn't dare comment on someone else's situation as I wouldn't know the full extent of it.
I have found from being out with my own children by myself that others around take such notice and judgment into how you discipline them when they are being particularly difficult. I have even had a few comments or tuts when I am telling my child off or ignoring him while he screams the bus down because I wont let him run around on it.They do not know me or my children to know what kind of time we are having, some days my son really does wind me up so yes if I tell him he cant have something that he keeps going on about in the shop I will not give in and let him have that which I think is an all round fair agreement. Personally I think that your child has to show good behaviour to seek the rewards rather than just giving them what they want when they want. Don't get me wrong there have definitely been some challenging days where I am nearly at breaking point so I will do anything to ease the pressure even if that is letting him watch movies all day or ignoring that thing he has broken. Overall for me, my partner and our children we find that our stricter approach and routine that we have with the kids, mainly Jacob as Thomas is a baby, including bedtimes, using manners at all times, works best for us as it's how we were both brought up to which we want to continue and follow.
It's all about finding a balance and teaching your child how to interact with others how they would want to be treated and being kind to others even if they aren't always being the same back. It's so easy to judge others if you think you would react differently but as you aren't in that situation you are taking a more calm outlook. But lets face it kids know how to pick their moments and they know when is best to push your buttons so always best to think about a situation from both sides.
People are quick to tell you when they think you are wrong but its rare that someone other than friends/family will tell you that you are doing amazingly which is more often than not. There needs to be more positivity spread as one small comment could be just what someone needed to hear or could be the tip of the iceberg if it's a stressful day.
The best advice I could give on disciplining your child is to not let others make you feel you are in the wrong or you are being too strict or not enough. You will get to know what works best for you and your child and each child won't necessarily be the same. After all we all have different opinions on what is good behaviour so no ones upbringing is right or wrong.
I am in no way saying how I bring my kids up is the right way ,it's just what works best for us. Just sharing how I deal with life as a parent and wanting to share some positivity on our individual choices we make being parents.
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